The Realtard™ Chronicles

From USA Today: Realtors live close to the edge.

Jack Jentzen never saw it coming. Four years ago, as a real estate agent in Elgin, Ill., he was enjoying the rewards of the most frenzied U.S. housing market in decades, and money poured in.

Now he's fighting to keep his home.

"I'm looking at jobs that are way lower than what I was once making," says Jentzen, 43.

As his business started to wither away, so did his financial security. He took out an equity line on his house. He exhausted most of his savings. The value of his home plummeted, and his lender cut off his equity line. Credit card bills climbed.

"The money in the bank is going to run out. If we lose this house, what do we do? What does my daughter do? My dad? I felt depressed and saw a psychologist. The market's just so tough now."

Shirley Van Scoyk, a Realtor in West Chester, Pa., spends her days on her farm with the horses she boards and her 80-pound American bulldog puppy. It might sound idyllic, but days with no work feel agonizing to her. At the moment, she has only one listing — her son's house. It's been on the market for three months.

"The hardest thing, where it all starts to unravel, is the effect of the difficult market on my self-esteem," Van Scoyk says.

When home sales were booming, she reveled in snagging sales and closing deals, and then snacking on crackers and soda in her car on the way to a settlement she'd struggled to move to the table.

"When the market is challenging like this, all the drama is gone, the hunt is gone, and this eats at your soul," she says. "I love doing business, and there is less business to do. I am in mourning for my work life. … I worked hard to get to be a Realtor. It made me a professional and a success. That bothers me worse than the income loss. I'm so incredibly depressed by not having work."

Robert Millosh, a Realtor for Re/Max in Middlesex County, N.J., says he'll need to find some other job to stay in the area. He used to earn at least $30,000 annually as a Realtor. Right now, he says, home sales are so dismal that he's looking at a job change or a move to Florida or Pennsylvania.

"I am almost broke and struggling to get by from day to day," says Millosh, who is 45 and single. "I'm having an estate sale for most of the furniture I have that I don't need. My life has been ripped apart."

Milltown, N.J., is a quaint small town, the kind of place families want to move to. They have an all-American Fourth of July celebration, with a parade, fishing, rodeo, a band in the park and fireworks at night. Millosh says it would be a hard place to abandon, but he might not have a choice.

He says he got in over his head after he began caring for his mother. His house was valued at $411,000 last year when he refinanced, and this year houses in his neighborhood were selling for less than $300,000. He's trying to sell his home for $349,000. His grandmother and mother built the house in 1951 for $18,000, and Millosh took out a mortgage in 2004 when his mother began to have medical problems. The original mortgage was for $100,000.

Now, he is looking at renting out rooms. Renting out his entire house or selling it, he says, could leave him homeless.

He took a bartending class in hopes of getting a job but says he could find only jobs as a busboy. "I've been looking for a job since October of last year and have yet to find anything," Millosh says. "I apply for anything, as long as it meets my minimum salary and travel area. I figured real estate would always be there for me."

Let me remind readers again that these are "used house" salesmen. They have no particular skills. The best job one could find was as a busboy.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!