Parody Time

Bad times bring out the creative element. (Found off the web.)

Casey Chavez Billabongo, aged 42, an undocumented mortgage broker, and his REALTOR™ wife, Shirley Summiss-Steak, bought their American Dream 3 bedroom rustic house in the desert, 4 hours drive from work which could have sold for $900,000 at peak of market in 2005. Purchased in 2004 with 125% "no-doc" mortgage and wanting to build their nest egg, they refinanced out to invest more equity into their home. Things started to go well in Casey’s and Shirley’s jobs and they used opportunity to jump in and buy 5 neighboring properties that they would flip for more profit. They got their idea from a popular TV program.

Nobody could have foreseen that market would suddenly downturn and the Billango’s efforts to sell their investment properties to investors from California and Europe, came to nothing, despite Shirley’s plan of providing cupcakes and planting statues of St. Joseph in the yards.

At the same time, nobody could of foreseen the price of gas for their Hummer going up so Casey had to pick up 3 part time jobs.

Shirley cashed in the $3,000 they had in their 401(k) and opened up her dream business: selling dog manicure sets on ebay.

Then disaster hit, their dreams came to an end when an unforeseen medical emergency happened. During a golf game where Casey was working as a Caddy, he was struck in the testicles by a freak lightening bolt. Requiring Cosmetic surgery, the Billabongo’s maxed out their 50 credit cards and took out a HELOC.

Unfortunately, nobody could have foreseen the interest only ARM reseting to 5 times Billabongo’s monthly income. Casey said “When I spoke to the mortage company, they said ‘did you even read your contract ?’ I mean who reads that stuff”. The Billabongo’s now facing foreclosure have appealed to their politicians for help. “We have been taken advantage of” said Shirley. “I am a classy person. I am a REALTOR™ and I have a Rolex.”