The House of Dog

From the WSJ: In the Great American Bailout, Pet Doctors Hope to Flush Out Cash.

Mortgages are under water all over this town. But at the local pet hospital, there's a liquidity crisis of a different order. It isn't about solvency. It's about sewage.

Thanks to a class of human clientele that wouldn't dream of denying an MRI to a dog, the Metropolitan Veterinary Hospital is in good financial shape. It wants to put up an extension and grow. For a building permit, though, it has to run a pipe to a sewer line.

Except there is no sewer line, and no money to pay for one in any government budget. That's where the huge public-works economic stimulus being pondered in Washington comes in. Like many, many other projects, a sewer line that improves life for animals in Ohio stands as good a chance as any of being part of the program.

"Our expansion won't cost less than $1 million," he said. "And we're adding 20 jobs. But we can't do a thing until that sewer comes through. If I was Barack Obama, I'd write the check tomorrow."

Make it out for $300,000, Mr. President-elect.

Highway, airport, transit and wind-farm lobbies are all knocking out lists of backhoe-ready jobs. So is the sewer lobby. The National Association of Clean Water Agencies wants $64 million to remove grease in Columbus, Ga.; $1.2 million for screw pumps in Kankakee, Ill.; and $24 million for the Nasty Branch flow-controller in Asheville, N.C. The association's latest sewer tally adds up to $7.4 billion.

The longest list comes from the U.S. Conference of Mayors: 1,391 things to do costing $73.2 billion in 427 cities, including a new sidewalk on Elm Street in Kokomo, Ind., and an upgrade to the street lights on the Cottonwood Loop in Holladay, Utah.

Akron has a list, too, and Mayor Don Plusquellic was flipping through it in his cabinet room not long ago.

Akron had levied income tax in Copley since the mid-90s, in return for laying water and sewer lines worth $60 million. Before the backhoes reached the pet hospital, the money was gone. So the sludge-pump truck still comes twice a week.

The hospital today has 45 veterinarians associated with it, and 120 full-time staffers. It has operating theaters, a CAT scanner, an intensive-care unit, busy wards of single-occupancy cages. It has outgrown its space. The MRI is in a trailer out behind the cesspool; patients have to be chauffeured to it in a golf cart.

Two years ago, the vets who own the hospital bought the lot next door for $235,000 to build a new wing. Then word came that they had to get a sewer put in first.

Sick-pet traffic is off a bit now, but the vets still want to build. They're longing for a recession-borne solution. Bobbie Kenna, an oncology intern, raised the question with Bear, a Tibetan terrier who had come into her ward for treatment. "The stink will be gone," she said. "It'd be more pleasant for everybody, wouldn't it, Bear?"

Akron's public utilities manager, Mike McGlinchy, concurs. If he had the extra $300,000, he'd lay this pipe today. "The business case is fabulous," he says. "And a lot of dogs and cats will be grateful."

Pork-tastic!!!