WORRIED homeowners were cheered last night as economists revealed that next year's house price collapse will lead to widespread starvation and prostitution among Britain's estate agents.
The upbeat report says the entire profession will be on the streets begging for food by next August, apart from those who manage to get jobs as sex whores by lying about their previous occupation.
Bill McKay, 56, a homeowner, said: "When I'm looking around a house I don't need some dick in a lilac shirt telling me 'this is the en-suite bathroom'. I can see it's the en-suite bathroom. It's got a great big fucking bath in it."I can also tell the difference between a desirable upscale property in a sought after location and a rat-infested bedsit with a brothel on one side and a crack house on the other. Do you think I'm blind, or just stupid?"
Professor Wayne Hayes, the Van Hoogstraten chair of prices at the House Institute, said: "Great news, the pin-striped tit-cockers are all going to starve to death. Slowly."
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