Sometimes you can't make these things up.
From the Wall Street Journal, Countrywide Tells Workers,
'Protect Our House'.
Having suffered a barrage of negative headlines while battling to shore up its finances and shrink its work force of 60,000 by as much as 20%, the nation's largest home-mortgage lender is launching a PR blitz aimed at repairing its reputation. And it starts inside the company.
For the demoralized employees who remain, the new campaign means wristbands with the phrase "Protect Our House" and pep talks promising to keep "amply" rewarding the most successful among them amid a struggle with the sharp drop in mortgage lending as defaults soar and house prices decline.
Rick Simon, a Countrywide spokesman, said the transcript was sent to employees Friday. It says that employees are expected to sign a pledge to "demonstrate their commitment to our efforts," and Mr. Simon says about 11,000 have signed. Each employee who signs up receives the Protect Our House wristband made of green rubber. "We believe there's a great story about the strength of the business," says Mr. Simon.
Hot diggity dang!
Nothing screams professional like a green wristband that says "Protect Our House". Wonder what the poor bitches are signing away on that piece of paper.
If someone asked me to "demonstrate my commitment", not only would I quit, I would borrow all the money I could, and short the stock (or even leverage, and buy all the put options I could.)
However, what I really really want is that green wristband.
C'mon readers, hook me up!
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