Monday, December 10, 2007

Swiss Cheese

Once again, the Wall Street Journal reports: UBS Gains Two New Investors, Writes Down $10 Billion.

UBS AG Monday said that two strategic foreign investors committed to inject capital worth 13 billion Swiss francs ($11.5 billion) as part of a broader move to strengthen capital as the Swiss bank announced a further $10 billion in write-downs on subprime holdings.

The bank said it was now possible that it will record a net loss for the full year.

UBS is issuing mandatory convertible notes worth 13 billion francs for these investments, which will pay a coupon of 9%.

Beyond the investments from these two parties, UBS plans to sell treasury shares and replace its 2007 cash dividend with a stock dividend, boosting capital by 6.4 billion francs.


9% while 3-month Treasuries are barely yielding 3%!

That's like going down the pawn-shop to borrow from Fat Tony.

And a stock dividend is less than worthless.

Before the stock dividend, each investor owns a certain fraction of the company. After the dividend, ta-daa, they own the same fraction.

It's like your mom cutting a cake into two pieces, and saying, "Now you have double the cake."

Watch out, suckers er, UBS investors!

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