That sinking feeling...

From the Twin Cities Pioneer Press, we have Laura Yuen reporting on Some Houseboat!.

I'll give you the high points:

Why not build a..floating retirement community, that could treat its residents to nautical adventures similar to his own? The St. Paul native has finally translated that dream into the most unusual condominium proposal the city has ever seen. His River Cities concept is a cross between a river barge and a four-level, 200-unit cruise ship.

Condo buyers would tour Nelson’s favorite haunts, from the sand bars of Destin, Fla., to the riverfront parks in Memphis, without ever leaving home.

His concept has also raised questions about property taxes, docking rights and the size and scale of each boat, Nelson envisions them the length of five football fields, making them the largest passenger vessels on the Mississippi River. ‘I talk to a lot of people, and they say, ‘Wow, what a cool idea,’ said Nelson. ‘But whether it actually grabs people enough that they’ll say, ‘Yeah, I want to buy,’ that’s always the key.’

Nelson’s prices range from $275,000 to $474,000 for units that go from 528 to 924 square feet. He said he designed his model, comprising four adjoining barges, to appeal to buyers who lack the means to own a private yacht. ‘I’ve got prices on this thing where middle-class people can participate in a millionaire’s dream,’ he said.

‘What’s unique about this is that these people will have a sense of ownership of the entire Mississippi River that few other people would,’ said Patrick Seeb, head of the St. Paul Riverfront Corp. ‘These projects are never easy,’ he said, referring to ambitious riverfront proposals that include the Bridges, which Seeb has criticized. ‘You have to hand it to people for being creative and trying to find ideas unique in the marketplace.’

Let's start with the obvious flaw. Middle-class people CANNOT participate in a millionaire's dream, by definition, because they are not fucking millionaires.

Is this a hard concept? It shouldn't be.

Secondly, no millionaire would be retarded enough to buy a depreciating asset for this absurd price.

Thirdly, I want to know which millionaire dreams about living on a 528 sq. feet unit on a barge on the Mississippi, and pay $600 a month for that privilege (on top of actually paying the absurd purchase price.)

Hell, if I were to live out my Huck Finn dream, I'd do it right -- footloose, and fancy free, and make sure to sucker more than a few folks on the drift down.

Lastly, if someone had 400K+, they could easily buy a 100K yacht, sail up and down the Mississippi (or wherever their heart's pleasure chose), put the remaining 300K in a bank account, and the interest would pay for all of the maintenance of the boat annually.

I rest my case.