Extreme Makeover

From the preferred toilet paper of the United States, the New York Times, we have a pair of stories.

The first one's from August 2005: Good News, Bad News: Your Loan's Approved.

ADAM GARDNER wasn't going to let limited resources stop him from buying a house. A 28-year-old appraiser's apprentice from Reno, Nev., he extended his search all the way to a new development 20 miles north of downtown. When he finally found a place - a two-bedroom, three-bath house - he took out two loans to finance 90 percent of the $253,850 price tag. And to keep his monthly payments within budget, he obtained what's known as an interest-only adjustable-rate mortgage.

Mr. Gardner, for one, is not especially worried. He said homes like his had already appreciated substantially, in his case making him a paper gain of tens of thousands of dollars. By the time the interest rate on this 30-year mortgage starts adjusting and his mortgage starts amortizing - in five years - he expects to have either sold or refinanced the home.

And the second story is from today (Mar 17th): Mortgage Trouble Clouds Homeownership Dream.

Take Adam Gardner, a 29-year-old appraiser who bought a three-bedroom, two-bath house 20 miles north of Reno, Nev., for about $255,000 two years ago. His wife is pining to move closer to town, but with housing prices falling all around him, Mr. Gardner doubts they can pull it off. “I’m not sure we can sell the place we are in,” Mr. Gardner said.

Ooh, sounds a bit ominous.

And he's an appraiser so he's pissing in the same tub that he's taking a bath in. Not exactly the recipe for a happy ending.

Tell you what, there's absolutely nothing of any worth in Reno, and certainly not 20 miles outside it. There's desert land as far as the eye can see.

This house is not even worth $100K, let alone the absurd prices stated in two articles, and that's because there are no jobs in Reno. "High-paying" casino jobs start at $10/hour.

As for the toilet paper, the less said the better. They'll print any garbage as long as it'll sell.

Waiter, I'd like to buy a free round of a$$-poundings for all of these people!